Tuesday 31 March 2009
Since i got nothing better to do,
i think i should blog more often.

Lots of friends has been staying by my side,
comfort, concern, encourage and supported me throughout this difficult time.

But, i think i should be more thankful to my family, femo, gabby the most.
They've been spending almost all their times on me, the always soft and timid girl in their heart.
Not to be bei hiao bai here, but quite true*

Today ive recalled how ive spent my 18yrs with family, cousins and friends.

In primary school, ive first studied in Red Swastika, my favourite teacher was MsLee/MrsLee, kind of forgotten. She's been by my side coaching me, giving me extra lessons just for helping me scored higher marks. Felt really happy that i once had this caring and thoughtful tcher! love her to the max! Hopefully i can meet dao her again but the chances are slim. And i made a bestfriend, her name was daphne, dont know how was she now?

Then when i was promoted to pri2, i shifted house to hougang, so ive transfered school to Yio Chu Kang. Initially it was supposedly to be Xinmin but they sent letter too slow. The start of school, still not bad. I missed MrsYap, she's the bestest tcher in this world, she care and dote us. And i love her story telling. And at that time, yio chu kang havent build yet, we studied at parry primary. Still rmb, when the bell rang, i'll rushed to the canteen to queue up for ice lolly, thats the funny part. Then when yck build, we went back. And i lovee to eat fruits, ive lolly, ikan billis. Always dabao ikan bilis in class. Really very fun. Then i met new friends, i think at that time, i love to hang out with jolene alot. haas! I pratically missed all my pri friends! Then till pri3, i got this tcher named MrLee, i hate him to the core. Thats the only bad impression of him towards me. He mocked at me about my results, embarrassed me. Thinking back, i know he's quite disappointed with me. And i know my results was a downturn. In pri school, my maths and science have never passed before. And at that point, i already giveup myself. All day, i only know how to eat, sleep, play. Till PSLE, thats the most critical time in my life, i tried to focus and concentrate and did my best, but the result turned out expectedly, normal technical.

Then i have to choose school, so my sister recommend me to Zhonghua, and i didnt know i really enter in my first choice, lucky i can say. Sec1 lifetime, was enjoyable and fun and yet quick. My maths has improved, from worst to excellent, proudly happy. ahaaa! Then i shift house again, to riovista, wooo~ Ive met 3new friends in sec school, nicholetan, ritugurung &angelafong. At that time, i couldnt pronounced their name, it was funny. Then when recess time, nichole, angela and me will be hanging out often everyday. Thats why we're M.A.N [: I missed them! We shared woes, happiness and mostly everything. Then slowly, angela promoted to normal academic, but we still closed, recess will be tgt. Then when sec3, i had some misunderstanding with some girls, i no longer with them but i hang out with guys more often and with ritu! I miss ritugurung! Quickly fly back to singapore, i want hug you lo. And shopping tgt! [: Must tell me how your lifes have been ok.

Alright, tired liao.


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Have been training my audition since holiday started, and im proudly to say that ive passed my lic. Tried alot times, my precious dens. Its worth it now.~

Mayb to you all, its childish as im playing online games. But to me, no matter how the level, it still so challeging and the moment you passed, felt so relieve and happy.

I feel that im back to my old self back. Like one siaocharbor roaming around the streets. ahahas!






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Monday 30 March 2009
My dad will be flying off to guangzhou in 2days time, he will going there for 6days. Hope daddy will get me flat iron over there as its much more cheaper, thought lots of people said the quality isnt better than japan. My godsis bought tongs from me at guangzhou too but the quality was still better. Its cheaper x10000 times.

In 26days time, my mummy and sister will be flying to taiwan again!

By that time, i think i'll be having exams/tests. Alright, feeling rather tired now.

ja-ne~!


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Sunday 29 March 2009
Why so many bastards around this world.

Yesterday was earth day? Did you all off the lights between 830 to 930? For me, i dont cos i was surfing th net. hohos

I missed primary and secondary life, missed my friends, sistas! Especially primary friends like, jolene koh! We've been contact each other. Quickly meetup soon oh! love you to th max! Must study hard for n/o level ok!

While secondary, i missed angela fong. Must study hard for your n/o lvl!

Ahh. bastards


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Saturday 28 March 2009
I have many words to say but how am i going to express out. There are too many stuffs for me to keep and to be true, i dont know when can i vent out.

Urrrrrrrrrrrrgh!

Feeling quite boring recently, have been downloading msn games to play for 1hr, pathetic right -.- Tried many games so far.

Out of sudden, i feel like going k session, anyone interested? Have been singing at home when im using comp or listening to hp songs. Felt like sing till my voice hoarse.

Breakfast with parents and sis at lorong ah soo, ate lor mee shared with sis. Then dad drove us to kovan and we alighted. Trained to plazasing for shopping. It was enjoyable yet tired day. We went daiso shop, bought alot necessary stuff, total $50. Amazing right?







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Friday 27 March 2009
I feel that im being pampered like a lil girl now. Went out with mummy in the morning for breakfast, then after that shopped at kovan and hougang mall. Mummy bought lash curler for me, those need batteries. oooo~


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Thursday 26 March 2009
Its SCHOOL VACATION NOW! Enjoy [: School will start on 13april if i aint wrong.

During this 2wks of vacation, i'll be opening a blogshop soon as i'll be selling unique earring, bracelet, and more. hohos. And mayb will be working too.


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Wednesday 25 March 2009
Overslept in the morning, quickly bathe and prepared then luckily shutter bus didnt left without me.

Board bus, lots of people but bus72 was rather empty and so slept through all the way till tamp inter then waiting for bus31, reached school later by 10min. Mr Eugene Ong came today to give us a demo on haircut, the victim were eugene and sally. For eugene's hair, it look like trim abit only. But for sally, her's was a big change. Haas. Then after the talk, was hso test, waa, i was nervous till i forget some and remember a lil. Then give teacher $1 for being late.

Wento LT1 to have sharing session with HA,HB. Share about how to approached models and such. Then Yun Nam came to give us a speech.

Aftermath, went home. And theres something i want to speech out. Saw this cheena chinese guy board the same bus72 with me, i was practically amazed that he drink beer on bus, wondering why cant he drink at hawker or home but on bus. Was he rushing or what? Then i keep stare at him, he drink 3 small beer and 1 big bottle tiger?

Then got this couple sitting behind me, keep knocking or kicking at my back. Then they keep do those indecent stuff, find it damn disgusting. Cant they do it on their house or hotel, much safier then on public. It really a public nuisance i can say! Felt damn gross and disgusted. Eeeew~

There goes my day.


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Tuesday 24 March 2009
This morning, wento colouring lesson, isnt it a miracle as i attend with chinting. Supposedly did a hairdye with bleach for her and we already discussed with teacher.

But.. theres alot customers waiting so we end up doing customers hair, one to one. I used 12% peroxide to presoften the roots as its more to the dark. Then i used virgin application to apply. But the outcome was like, the roots to mid-length absorb the colour more to the mid-length to ends. But im glad the customers like the colours.

Then 1pm should be our chd retest, whole class luhs! Hohos, this time round, i did faster than the previous and the outcome was uber nice, i super love it. heh. Thanks to my steady model, eve! [:

Alright, will post otherday.


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Monday 23 March 2009
I know im not supposed to be jealous or what because we're not related anymore. I hide all the jealousy in my heart, as i couldnt let you know how i feel.

I think, im going insane or mad soon. Seeing couples out there, i feel like strangled them to death, am i suffering depression or what? Or am i being paranoid.

From love to hatred, i dont wish it to end up this way. But, the feeling is so sucky right now.

Anyway, didnt received any msges from you, kind of upset. Mayb you wasnt free or youre busy with friends. I cant called you or whatever. Im lost for words.

Sometimes, i find friends arent trustable or whatever.

Have been thinking alot stuffs right now. Arrrrrrrrrgh! I wanna make myself busy but theres nothing i can do.

Mayb 2wks of march holiday, i'll help mummy with housechores and finding job to make my life busy then i wont think too much.

Thanks flies for the presents! [: iloveit, much appreciated and thanks!


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Sunday 22 March 2009
Have been playing facebook games this few days, and kind of get hooked on bowling. And my parents and sis love to play. we've been playing every night. haas! See them play happily, eventually i'll be happy.

I'll stay strong, dont worry!


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Saturday 21 March 2009
你问, 我爱你有多久,
我已经爱上你了,
这个时间是很难忘掉的,
因为, 我已经爱到你, 爱得很深,
我绝对不相信你对我没感觉.

我会一直等你,
等你再爱上我,
没有你的存在,
我觉得少了些东西.

就算, 我不能告诉你我多么爱你,
我会一直静静的爱你,
这是我和你的诺言.

我不会一直让你反感,
方而, 我会一直等你回来我的身旁!

我知道,时间不可以倒流.

我爱你一辈子.


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HAPPY SWEET 18 BIRTHDAY TO MYSELF~!

Overall i did enjoy myself with my parents and sis. They bring me to Sakura Internation Buffet for celebration. Each person $24+. Quite nice, ate until baobao. Half way through, i think of him* But i told myself, eat more eat more, dont think too much. This yr, no cakes as i dont wish to have. [: I love lime sherbert ice cream!


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Friday 20 March 2009
Yesterday, my sis told me how she feel when she saw all the msges, she almost cried. I know alot people very concern me but i can't help it.

To be true, i can't live without him.
I find his reason not true. I dont know, really.

Don't understand why he must at this point of time tell me, i cried, break down, numb, hiding all my feelings.

now i know what i fear most, i fear of losing you. 31months is not easy to forget. My dad even ask mummy whether to buy air tickets to taiwan for me san xing but i cant, im having school.


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Thursday 19 March 2009
A good news, i've slim down 1kg. And i will continue to slim till 45kg or 42kg. I hate my current weight, its fat. And weekends, i wanna go gym exercise and get rid all the fats i once had.

Had dinner with parents and sis, didnt ate much, no appetite at all.

Hope you can concentrate on your studies well.

I'm bored.


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Day3 without you, the feeling is still the same, horrible and terrible. I felt that life is too cruel mayb for me. I still cant accept it. Ya, i dont know why either. Mayb thats because my love for him is so true and deep. Putting him down is hard, forgetting him is more difficult. The process is way too hard for me to handle. Accepting other guys is a NOWAY!

Thought of emigrate to other countries, discuss with parents yesterday already. But it isn't easy to do so. Singapore might be the safest country but there's too much memorise left here. I told my mum that i really cannot take it, it's too hard for me to continue. Seeing other couples on the streets, i begin to think of you.

Studies, i hope i can cope well as this year will be the last year. Exam and projects coming soon. Mayb after this course, attachments. i'll see what i can do. To stay in singapore or leave, waiting for time to past as quickly as it can be.

All of the sudden, i feel like going cosmetic surgery for no reason. Mayb has been catching the 10pm channel u show. If you want to be pretty, you can go for surgery. But.. this is only a sudden stuff i want to do it. I hope, i wont.

Now i only can put all my love ღ to my family and femo, or him? i dont know, really dono how life can continue. we shall see.

let things went naturally?


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Wednesday 18 March 2009
Yes, the feeling are horrible. Can't imagine this time is for real. No more you anymore, i'll lose you eventually. Day2 without you, i'm still missing you, cried alot but nothing will bring back you to me. Bus72 should be short route for me last time, but now it seem it's longer than i can imagine. I cried when going school, i cried when going take bus72 home, i almost cried when i meeting twin. I really am a failure in relationship. Now you people can laugh all you want. Happy? I ain't happy at all. I felt numb, sad. Thought of dying once, but i dare not. I know if i died, Those beloved will grief and i shouldnt let them worry about me.

MICHELLE! PLEASE FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR PARENTS/ YOUR FUTURE CAREER, CAN YOU WAKE UP? STOP PROBE ABOUT THE PAST, IT'S NO USED ANYMORE, THE FEELING ISNT THERE ANYMORE. YOU UNDERSTAND? I REALLY GOT NO MOOD ANYMORE.


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Tuesday 17 March 2009
This will be my first post of the day!

I believe that as time goes, my heart will eventually heal. Michelle, you have to be strong from now on. No more timid anymore, you get it? You must cherish and LOVE yourself more than others. One time is enough. Do you still want to stop at this moment and lose your future. Don't be a loser, please!


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